


Is This a Dream?

by QueenCobra



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/F, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 16:09:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1191324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenCobra/pseuds/QueenCobra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Penelope is lost in a nightmare</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Our Story

**Author's Note:**

> Set after the replicator episode.

Erin watched her girlfriend sleep on the king sized bed. She and Penelope had been together for an entire year. It took the team a while to get used to the two of them being together, but after a few months, they accepted the odd relationship. Erin leaned in and kissed Penelope's forehead whispering, "I love you, my sweet chickadee."  
Penelope's eyes fluttered open ,"I love you too, my gorgeous lady bug."  
"You are so beautiful when you sleep."Erin said as she tucked a stray piece of hair behind Penelope's ear. Penelope sat up just enough to lay her head on Erin's chest. She loved to listen to Erin's heart beat. The older woman hugged her, then got up from the bed. "Erin, my sweet, what are you doing?"  
"You know what today is?"  
"Yes, I couldn't forget. One glorious year together. " Penelope smiled.  
"More than glorious, my chickadee," Erin smiled as she pulled out a velvet box from the dresser drawer, making sure it was out of her love's sight.  
Erin sat back on the bed with Penelope and held her hand.   
"Penny, how much do I mean to you? How much do you love me?"  
"I love you more than you would ever know, you mean the world to me, if I ever had to let you go, lady bug, I would.. I would.. Oh honey, I don't know what I would do without you in my life." Penelope said as the tears began to fall at the thought of loosing her love, her best friend. Erin smiled and wiped the tears away with her thumbs," Aw, don't cry, I'm still here, we're safe. The Replicator is dead, remember? You saved me."  
"You know, that was the first time I ever shot a gun in my life. I saw him, and knew I had to do something. I mean, Rossi would have been crushed if you had been killed, and I would have too. I just pointed the gun and hoped for the best."  
"And I broke it off with David a week later to be with you, my love. Tell me our story, about our love, how we started. Please, chickadee?"  
She looked up at her lover who nodded and then motioned for Erin to lay next to her. "We were in New York, and Alex took you back to your hotel room. The team and I went out to dinner, but about twenty minutes later Rossi received a text from you. He was worried, so he went back to the room. When he found you were gone, he flipped. We looked for you, and I saw you being pushed down the street. I took the gun Derek left in my purse, and I shot him." Penelope looked down at Erin to see her eyes closed," Erin? Are you awake?" She shook her shoulder, but nothing happened."Erin,wake up. Please don't scare me like this. Erin honey, please wake up," Penelope cried as she shook her love trying to wake her. She grabbed her phone and dialed 911. When she heard the operator, she burst into tears, and tried to explain the situation. "Calm down ma'am, help is on the way, stay with her." She threw her phone across the room. Penelope checked for a heartbeat, and found it, but it wasn't very strong.


	2. This Is Not How It Ends

At the hospital, Penelope sat in the waiting room, starring at the ground. "Hey, Baby Girl." She looked up to see Derek and the team. He sat down and she began sobbing uncontrollably. "Pen, can you tell me what's going on," Reid asked as he kneeled on front of her.   
"I really don't know. She was laying next to me, and I was talking to her. I looked down at her, and it thought she was asleep. I tried to wake her up, but she wouldn't. Oh God. What if they can't help her?"  
"Calm down Penelope, I'll go talk to the nurse to see what is going on," Hotch said. Penelope nodded then turned back to Derek. Hotch returned with the doctor, he could not hide the sorrow in his eyes. "I have some bad news," the doctor spoke softly,"Erin Strauss passed away due to a heart attack."   
Penelope shook her head, refusing to believe that her girlfriend was dead. "No. No no no. NO. This is not happening, no, this can't be happening," Penelope yelled as she stormed out of the hospital. She couldn't handle it, she had to calm herself down. Penelope drove as fast as she could to the park nearby, knowing that no one would be there since it was beginning to get dark. She took a blanket out of the back seat, and walked to the the lake. She laid the blanket down on the end of the dock and sat down. As it began to sink in, she laid back on the blanket and began to weep. She turned on her side and took a deep breath, crying even harder when she realized the blanket smelled like Erin.   
"I thought we might find you here," a familiar voice said gently. Penelope looked up to see JJ and Emily standing behind her.  
"This is were where our relationship officially started ..... Why are you guys here? I thought you were out of state."  
"Well, we were, but Erin called us a few days ago telling us she planed on proposing here tonight. I am so sorry for you loss Penny," Emily said as she sat next to her.  
"Oh my god, that's why she was acting weird this morning. Now she's gone."  
"PG, why don't you come back to the hospital with us so that we can arrange something for her?"  
Penelope nodded, picking up the blanket. JJ decided to ride with Penelope back to the hospital. When they arrived, Erin's children were there, waiting for Penelope. They hugged her tightly, crying as they did so. "Penelope,what are we going to do now," Erin's youngest asked.   
"I don't know, we have to plan a funeral or something for her. What do you think she would want?"  
"I think she told me once that she wanted to be cremated and then her have her ashes be scattered through the wind. We should do that."   
"Then that is what we will do.....Excuse me," Penelope said as she ran towards the bathroom. The stress of it all was finally catching up to her and it made her queasy. She went Into the first open stall and threw up. A few minutes passed, and then JJ walked in,"How are you holding up?"  
"How do you think I'm holding up right now Jayje? I have to plan my girlfriend's funeral on our anniversary. Right now we should be at the dock, her down on her knee asking me to marry her. Instead we are here, and she is gone."  
" I know what you are going through, I can't promise the pain will go away, but you might find you'll be able to move on. Maybe it will hurt less in the future."  
"JJ, I love you, but you have no idea what kind of relationship we had. You don't know how special our relationship was. You didn't lose Will, but I lost Erin. It won't hurt any less in the future. I will never hear her voice again, or see her smile, or feel her hug me, or even smell her again. We had a unique relationship, you don't know what she helped me through. I tried to commit suicide twice, but she helped me through, and here I am. You don't know, no one knows. You just don't know what this is like."  
Penelope left the bathroom, and hugged everyone before leaving. The long drive seemed even longer without Erin, and Penelope couldn't take much more of it. She decided that she couldn't live without her love any longer. Penelope pulled her car over on the side of road, and got out. She stood on the edge of the bridge and looked down at the water below. Penelope jumped.


	3. Sweet Dreams From Now On

"ERIN !"  
"PENNY! WAKE UP! It's me, Erin. Honey, you are having a bad dream. I'm right here," Erin said as she shook her lover awake.  
Penelope's eyes shot open, and she began to cry. Erin hugged her tightly, and rocked back and forth.  
"Momma, is mommy ok," the little girl in the doorway asked.  
"Yes, it was just a bad dream. Come lay with us, Anna," Erin replied.  
Anna climbed up onto the bed and sat in the middle, cuddling close to Penelope. "What kind of bad dream was it?"  
"It was just a bad dream, Anna."Penelope looked at her daughter. "You have brought so much joy into our hearts, Baby."  
Penelope laid back and thought about her growing family. She put her hand on her stomach, and felt the baby kick. Penelope, Anna, and Erin fell asleep together with sweet dreams of the future.


End file.
